August 19, 2009

Again..

My sister is pregnant again. You're the first people I've told. I can't tell anyone else, for some reason the words won't come out. We found out on accident after seeing her ultrasound on the backround of her cell phone. She's never told us. I didn't even know how far along until I saw her facebook status. 5 weeks until she's due. 5 weeks. Is she not going to tell me? I don't want to be there, I don't even want to know when he's born. Its not like anyone would call us anyways.

Sometimes I feel like its my fault that my family doesn't include us in things. Sometimes I feel its because we've chosen to make our friends a priority. But then, I realize, if they HAD included us, we wouldn't have had to make our friends a priority.

I almost wish we weren't buying a house here.. I wish we could move, but we all know the economy sucks and now isn't the time to try and find a job somewhere else.. at least where we are moving to will seem like a different place. We've never lived in the north part of town, so it will be fun and interesting....and still not close to my family, so they can keep using that as an excuse not to visit.

My aunt actually had the nerve to post on my facebook that she has never seen where we live now. Gee.. we've only invited you several times a year for the last 5 YEARS, but its "too far", even though she visits friends that live just a few blocks away. She also posted "seems I find out whats going on with my family via FB"....I wonder why.

All I can say is.. we're leaving for vacation in a week, and it couldn't have come at a more needed time. I'm going to put on a happy face and enjoy every single moment of it.

ameliorating at 8:57 a.m.

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We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,


so as to have the life that is waiting for us. ~ joseph campbell